Forgiving yourself from a big MIS-take
All
of us at some point in time realize that we have made a mis-take. It’s
interesting how each of us assimilates the situation & events prior to the
mistake, the actual decision & action, and the consequences.
The
sequence might be somewhat like this:
1. Somethings happen,
someone says something, you struggle to surpass an obstacle, you come across a
negative experience etc.
2. You evaluate
choices or come to a conclusion. Then you make a choice/ decision. Certain
things happen due to your above choice/decision: actions, events
3. You live with the
results/consequences for a while. Sometimes you think about your choice/decision
and the subsequent consequences
4. Gradually you
become aware or feel that you made a mistake. Initially you self-reason and keep
justifying your choice/decision.
5. Then your mind starts
swinging like a pendulum/ yo-yo; from thinking one end that it is your fault to
the other end of thinking that it is not your fault. Also that it is someone
else’s fault, or the circumstance was the caused for it. Finally you realize
that it was your fault either in a major way or completely. That it was an
error on your part!
6. You start feeling guilt,
shame, remorse. Your sense of well-being is disturbed. If you continue worrying
on the above then you risk the possibility of a lack of sleep, loss of
appetite, dis-interest with current events, and detachment with the people
around you. At the extreme end it may lead to a state of depression
7. You may continue in
this chasm till you reach the state of having the courage to acknowledge your
mis-take. You free yourself from the burden of denial and whole-heartedly accept
the error on your part. Also the epiphany occurs that it’s a mis-take and not a
sin!
8. At that stage you
may choose to reach out to the person and express your apologies or you may
visualize them in your mind and express your apologies. You may also request
for their forgiveness in-person or in your mind
9. When you do that,
somehow magically you are relieved from the guilt of the mis-take. You start
realizing that it might have happened due to ignorance or limited information
or a series of unforeseen events or inability to think clearly at that time. You
stop feeling guilty and learn to forgive yourself
10.You regain the
positive energy and vitality to move on with your life. You may also make a
resolve not to repeat the mis-take or wrong doing
Forgiveness Poem:
Forgiveness
is letting go of the pain and accepting what has happened, because it will not
change.
Forgiveness
is dismissing the blame. Choices were made that caused the hurt; we each could
have chosen differently, but we didn't.
Forgiveness
is looking at the pain, learning the lessons it has produced, and understanding
what we have learnt.
Forgiveness
allows us to move on towards a better understanding of universal love and our
true purpose.
Forgiveness
is knowing that love is the answer to all questions, and that we all are in
some way connected.
Forgiveness
is starting over with the knowledge that we have gained. I forgive you, and I
forgive myself. I hope you can do the same.
-
Judith Mammay
Some quotes:
Mistakes
are painful when they happen, but years later a collection of mistakes is what
is called experience, which leads to success – Denis Waitley
Mistakes
simply happen because of lack of awareness. Once awareness dawns in you, then
you realize that you made a mistake out of ignorance. By realizing this, you
come out of the mistake and become innocent once again – Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
