It’s a common misconception that altering your behavior implies the betrayal of integrity and authenticity. In reality, these changes to your behavioral patterns are a way to improve how you engage with others. Adapting your behavior such that it suits the situations at hand helps people understand what you are conveying. For doing that, it is crucial to understand how your behavior or personality helps or hinders your progress. And thus, behavior change/ transformation is the next level in self-improvement.
Growing your awareness of how your style differs from others
will dramatically enhance your conversation skills. It is particularly true
with whom you have trouble interacting. Learning how to adapt your behavior to
the particular person so as to minimize the risk of them having an issue with
you is the ultimate goal. Consequently, the quality of your relationships, both
at work and in life, will transform. And that is the beginning of a long-term,
sustained behavior change and transformation.
Nevertheless, changing your behavior will not be an easy
endeavor. Anyone who has tried to break a bad habit, such as smoking, knows how
hard it is. It requires a lot of commitment and persistence. Therefore, it's
necessary to empower yourself with the right knowledge, time, effort, and
self-discipline.
The beginning
Regardless of the goal that you wish to accomplish, you must
know that there is no one-size-fits-all solution. You will realize that you
need to try out a few different techniques until you find the right one for
you. It will typically include a series of trial and error. This is the stage
when many become discouraged and give up on their goal. It is vital to keep
yourself motivated for identifying the most appropriate techniques that enable
the change in you.
The elements of change
As we all know, inducing behavioral changes is not easy.
Over many years, psychologists have developed various techniques that
therapists, teachers, and physicians use to help people change their behavior.
Researchers have also worked on theories
attempting to explain how changes happen. In order to achieve your goals,
you need to understand the elements of change, the stages of change, and learn
how you can go through all those stages effectively.
Here are the three critical elements of behavior change:
- Readiness
to change: Evaluate the ability to make
a lasting change using the knowledge and resources at your disposal.
- Barriers
to change: Identify anything that is
blocking your change.
- Likelihood
of relapse: Identify what triggers cause
the relapse to former/ prior behavior.
The stages of change
The Stages of Change, aka the Transtheoretical Model, was
introduced in the late 1970s. This model has been found to be highly effective
in understanding how people go through changes.
It deems that relapse is inevitable and describes the change
as a gradual process. It begins with people's resistance to change. Eventually,
people adopt a natural approach for changing their behavior and become
committed. It shows that change is a process that consists of a sequence of
small steps leading towards the goal.
Pre-contemplation
People in this stage are not truly considering the change.
It’s a state of mind that we describe as being ‘in denial’. In this stage,
people often claim that their behavior is not a problem, or they don't
understand how their behavior is detrimental. If you are currently in this
stage, think about what would need to happen so that you consider your behavior
problematic.
Contemplation
This is the stage when people actually begin to realize the
need for change and understand the benefits of the change. Simultaneously, they
start to realize the costs of the change. As a result, instead of focusing on
the physical, emotional, or mental gains that the change will bring about,
people feel like they are giving something up. Unfortunately, many never move
past this phase. If you are in this stage, figure out what could help you make
the change. Understand why you want to change and try to identify anything that
may be preventing you from making the change happen.
Preparation
The preparation stage often involves making more minor
changes as a way to prepare for the big leap. During this phase, it is
essential to create a support system that will provide encouragement. Hiring a coach can prove to extremely helpful during this
phase.
Action
This is when concrete efforts towards achieving the goal
happen. If you have dedicated enough time to the previous stages, you have a
better chance of success. For example, people who decide to get their body in
shape and jump immediately into doing physical activities or a work-out will
often tend to give up after a few weeks. However, if they have given enough
time during the pre-contemplation, contemplation, and preparation stages and
keep finding the motivation to stay physically active, the chances are they
will keep up with their efforts. These stages will help them in not losing
momentum. It’s important to ensure that you reinforce your new behavior with
positive rewards for every step you take. Celebrating the small wins helps in
positively encouraging you to repeat the newly adapted behavior.
Maintenance
The maintenance stage implies avoiding old behaviors and
maintaining the new ones. At this stage, it would be best if you try to avoid
temptation. Identify the situations when you have managed to prevent relapse
successfully and reward yourself for that. And if you do relapse, don't beat
yourself up. It's just a part of the overall process.
Relapse
If and when you relapse, you will likely feel disappointed
and frustrated. Don't let this ruin your confidence. Instead, understand what
triggered the relapse and try to avoid it going forward. Remember that your mistakes are an excellent source of insight. In this
case, it would help if you started back from the preparation stage. It may be a
good idea to go over your resources and techniques and reaffirm your
motivation. To help you in the near-term, prepare a plan on how you will avoid
possible future temptation and the risk of a relapse.
Conclusion
Any type of change is difficult and especially behavior
change is a massive step. It looks like a state change from ice to water or
water to steam. For our personal improvement, it is good to know that
difficulties and challenges build our resilience. We become stronger by overcoming each
challenge in our journey of personal development. Keeping an optimistic outlook
for a more positive outcome even when things are less than perfect is what
enables this transformation. This process is highly effective for making
changes in our communication and interactions with others. Identifying and
understanding the problematic behaviors is the start of the journey towards
changing those behaviors and helps in sustaining the newly adopted behavior
when interacting with other people. Moreover, identifying behaviors that cause
your negative mood shifts and becoming aware of your destructive thought
processes can enhance your awareness of your thought patterns and
auto-conditioned response. Using this awareness and the above change process
can help in reprogramming your inner script. This could significantly improve
the quality of your life. The process is arduous, but the rewards are worth the
struggle. Finally, it’s your decision whether to change or remain the same.
“When the pain of staying the same becomes more than the pain of going through the change, then you are truly ready to take the leap for behavior transformation”.
