Paradoxes in the life of a business owner

When you decide to start your own business, you will receive an abundance of information on how to start it. No one, however, prepares you for all the paradoxes that you will encounter in this journey. If you think about your role as the owner of a company, you will realize that you have many responsibilities and commitments to fulfill. Soon it will become painlessly clear that you cannot fully discern as to which of these responsibilities you are doing well and which ones you suck at.

Sometimes you wonder: Are you working IN your business or working ON your business. Are you managing or are you leading? Are you putting out fires or preventing them in the first place? 

Is your ‘leadership style’ a growth enabler or a growth barrier?

Leadership involves many inconsistencies and demands continuous behavior adjustment. Many fail to keep up with the constant changes and get stuck with their auto-conditioned behavioral style and then expect that everyone must adapt to it. Forcing that style on others and taking the ‘it's my way or the highway’ approach will only deem you as ‘one of those’ bosses!

The best way to enable growth is to listen to what others have to say, understand what optimizes other people’s performance, and be agile in adapting to the situation.

A huge paradox in the life of a business owner is - Are you a boss or are you a leader?

The truth is, you are and must be both!

One of the mistakes many business owners, and managers in general, tend to make is being too friendly with the people they are supposed to manage. They don't know how and where to set the boundaries. Very few people know precisely how to behave when they first become a boss or a supervisor. They find it difficult to resist the intoxication of power and simultaneously their need to be liked by everyone.

Being too friendly will not get you far, nor will it assert you as a leader. Similarly, being too authoritarian won't get you better results. Essentially, you must strive to find the balance and one way to do that is by being empathetic. It does not imply that you will stop holding people accountable for their work. It only means that emotional intelligence and business success go hand in hand. These two can and must coexist. 

To be a good leader, or a boss, whatever you want to call yourself, you must embrace these paradoxes and determine your customized choices. Some situations will require you to lead from the front, and others will need you to let your team lead. Should you make decisions quickly or take your time? Well, both - depending on the situation.

Each meeting, person, and task will need a customized approach. There is no one-size-fits-all solution and trying to create it is worthless. Every interaction and issue will require you to be agile in your thinking, fine-tune your strategy, and continually adjust your actions.

Leaders need to be optimistic and realistic, enthusiastic and cautious, all at the same time. You need to build an optimistic vision for a project as you want your team to be focused on the goal. At the same time, you want to be realistic and alert everyone that things may not play out as planned based on the occurrences of external events. How open and transparent should you be about possible issues? Should you share all the trivial and irrelevant information? Would it be okay to share bad news right up front? Balancing all these disparities is vital to avoid causing anxiety, fear, or worry among your team members! 

This is what happens during change management like let's say due to a merger you move your office to a new location. We know that merging is always a challenge as people may be worried about layoffs and a new working environment.

Do your employees participate or contribute?

Should a leader create a structure or allow freedom? Should people involved in your organization contribute to the development of the system or participate as a cog in the machine?

Generally speaking, organizations could have a mix of both. The manufacturing side of things could be more process and precision-driven, while the product design could function with more fresh thinking and innovation. A leader's job is to recognize when to allow the brainstorming to unravel and when to step in and steer the conversation in a specific direction.

Final thoughts

As we have observed, different scenarios demand different approaches and hence leaders take these paradoxes in their stride. Plus, resilience is vital for a good leader. As a business owner & leader, finding the right balance and knowing how to adapt to the ever-changing variables is critical.

The next big thing in self-improvement is BEHAVIOR transformation

It’s a common misconception that altering your behavior implies the betrayal of integrity and authenticity. In reality, these changes to your behavioral patterns are a way to improve how you engage with others. Adapting your behavior such that it suits the situations at hand helps people understand what you are conveying. For doing that, it is crucial to understand how your behavior or personality helps or hinders your progress. And thus, behavior change/ transformation is the next level in self-improvement.

Growing your awareness of how your style differs from others will dramatically enhance your conversation skills. It is particularly true with whom you have trouble interacting. Learning how to adapt your behavior to the particular person so as to minimize the risk of them having an issue with you is the ultimate goal. Consequently, the quality of your relationships, both at work and in life, will transform. And that is the beginning of a long-term, sustained behavior change and transformation.

Nevertheless, changing your behavior will not be an easy endeavor. Anyone who has tried to break a bad habit, such as smoking, knows how hard it is. It requires a lot of commitment and persistence. Therefore, it's necessary to empower yourself with the right knowledge, time, effort, and self-discipline.

The beginning

Regardless of the goal that you wish to accomplish, you must know that there is no one-size-fits-all solution. You will realize that you need to try out a few different techniques until you find the right one for you. It will typically include a series of trial and error. This is the stage when many become discouraged and give up on their goal. It is vital to keep yourself motivated for identifying the most appropriate techniques that enable the change in you. 

The elements of change

As we all know, inducing behavioral changes is not easy. Over many years, psychologists have developed various techniques that therapists, teachers, and physicians use to help people change their behavior. Researchers have also worked on theories attempting to explain how changes happen. In order to achieve your goals, you need to understand the elements of change, the stages of change, and learn how you can go through all those stages effectively.

Here are the three critical elements of behavior change:

• Readiness to change: Evaluate the ability to make a lasting change using the knowledge and resources at your disposal. 
• Barriers to change: Identify anything that is blocking your change.
• Likelihood of relapse: Identify what triggers cause the relapse to former/ prior behavior.

The stages of change

The Stages of Change, aka the Transtheoretical Model, was introduced in the late 1970s. This model has been found to be highly effective in understanding how people go through changes.

It deems that relapse is inevitable and describes the change as a gradual process. It begins with people's resistance to change. Eventually, people adopt a natural approach for changing their behavior and become committed. It shows that change is a process that consists of a sequence of small steps leading towards the goal.

Pre-contemplation

People in this stage are not truly considering the change. It’s a state of mind that we describe as being ‘in denial’. In this stage, people often claim that their behavior is not a problem, or they don't understand how their behavior is detrimental. If you are currently in this stage, think about what would need to happen so that you consider your behavior problematic.

Contemplation

This is the stage when people actually begin to realize the need for change and understand the benefits of the change. Simultaneously, they start to realize the costs of the change. As a result, instead of focusing on the physical, emotional, or mental gains that the change will bring about, people feel like they are giving something up. Unfortunately, many never move past this phase. If you are in this stage, figure out what could help you make the change. Understand why you want to change and try to identify anything that may be preventing you from making the change happen.

Preparation

The preparation stage often involves making more minor changes as a way to prepare for the big leap. During this phase, it is essential to create a support system that will provide encouragement. Hiring a coach can prove to extremely helpful during this phase.

Action

This is when concrete efforts towards achieving the goal happen. If you have dedicated enough time to the previous stages, you have a better chance of success. For example, people who decide to get their body in shape and jump immediately into doing physical activities or a work-out will often tend to give up after a few weeks. However, if they have given enough time during the pre-contemplation, contemplation, and preparation stages and keep finding the motivation to stay physically active, the chances are they will keep up with their efforts. These stages will help them in not losing momentum. It’s important to ensure that you reinforce your new behavior with positive rewards for every step you take. Celebrating the small wins helps in positively encouraging you to repeat the newly adapted behavior. 

Maintenance

The maintenance stage implies avoiding old behaviors and maintaining the new ones. At this stage, it would be best if you try to avoid temptation. Identify the situations when you have managed to prevent relapse successfully and reward yourself for that. And if you do relapse, don't beat yourself up. It's just a part of the overall process.

Relapse

If and when you relapse, you will likely feel disappointed and frustrated. Don't let this ruin your confidence. Instead, understand what triggered the relapse and try to avoid it going forward. Remember that your mistakes are an excellent source of insight. In this case, it would help if you started back from the preparation stage. It may be a good idea to go over your resources and techniques and reaffirm your motivation. To help you in the near-term, prepare a plan on how you will avoid possible future temptation and the risk of a relapse.

Conclusion

Any type of change is difficult and especially behavior change is a massive step. It looks like a state change from ice to water or water to steam. For our personal improvement, it is good to know that difficulties and challenges build our resilience. We become stronger by overcoming each challenge in our journey of personal development. Keeping an optimistic outlook for a more positive outcome even when things are less than perfect is what enables this transformation. This process is highly effective for making changes in our communication and interactions with others. Identifying and understanding the problematic behaviors is the start of the journey towards changing those behaviors and helps in sustaining the newly adopted behavior when interacting with other people. Moreover, identifying behaviors that cause your negative mood shifts and becoming aware of your destructive thought processes can enhance your awareness of your thought patterns and auto-conditioned response. Using this awareness and the above change process can help in reprogramming your inner script. This could significantly improve the quality of your life. The process is arduous, but the rewards are worth the struggle. Finally, it’s your decision whether to change or remain the same.

“When the pain of staying the same becomes more than the pain of going through the change, then you are truly ready to take the leap for behavior transformation”.